Pluto Has Been Officially Reclassified As A Planet!

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Today is a historic day—one that will bring joy to the hundreds of millions of Pluto lovers around the globe. The International Astronomical Union (IAU), the body that is responsible for naming and classifying objects in the cosmos, has just announced that Pluto has been reclassified as a major planet. 


That’s right, the little dwarf will be rejoining the ranks of Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Planet-X (the planet that will surely spell doom for all humanity).

As many of you know, in 2006, the IAU made their infamousvote, deciding to demote everyone’s favorite planet to a “dwarf planet.” Their reasoning was that too many people would confuse Pluto (the doggy of Disney fame) with Pluto (the planet, of space and stuff). Immediately after this 2006 announcement, the public exploded with outrage. There were a number of campaigns launched that were aimed at ensuring that Pluto was reinstated as a planet. These met with no success. Pluto was officially classified as a dwarf planet.

But all of that just changed, After years of deliberation, the IAU announced in a press release that they have reclassified the icy world—they upgraded Pluto back to its proper standing as a planet. “We simply underestimated the public’s attachment to Pluto.
We realized our error shortly after the decision came down to demote it,” said Dr. Amy Joggy, professor at the Institute of Planetary Studies and head of the IAU’s Planetary Classification and Experimental Nomenclature Task Force. “We didn’t think anyone would really care if a little clump of ice and rock on the outskirts of the solar system was reclassified. Clearly, we dun messed up, and that makes me super sad face.


Today, we take steps to correct this most grievous of errors.
In addition to Pluto’s reclassification, Dr. Joggy has also proposed that the IAU create a new category of planet called a “hyper-planet.” These hyper-planets, according to Dr. Joggy, are like regular planets but at least two times as awesome (thanks to the fancy, fancy name).

It has also been proposed that Pluto be made an honorary member of this new planetary class. “In all honesty, we feel bad for the way we treated Pluto and, more importantly, all those that cared about it so greatly- the public showed us our error. Hopefully, the new class of planet will be created without a hitch, and Pluto will be added as the first member. It’s only fair.”

Say it with me now, “Yay!”
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48 comments:

  1. Yay! Yay! Yay! That's a great leap for the planetkind!

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  2. This has come from an April Fools prank and is not true. Do your research.

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    1. Actually, you don't even have to do any research other than the standard practice of following links in the article. The link to the alleged press announcement goes to April Fools.

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  3. Not true...where do you get this garbage from? Makes for nice click-bate though.

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  4. best way is to make only bodies with moons as planets. We'd lose Mercury and Venus, which we could call "near sun objects" but we'd gain Pluto and maybe others. Size is not important (said no-one).

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    1. Bodies with moons as planets is not a good way to classify a planet. There are asteroids that aren't even large enough to be spherical that have moons. The classification that the IAU came up with, that a planet needs to be large enough to both be spherical and to clear its orbit, is a good classification. That includes Mercury and Venus and excludes Pluto and the literal dozens of trans-Neptunian objects being found on a regular basis.

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    2. Man, people really don't understand sarcasm these days...

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  5. Yes, this is a joke, but the truth is, we don't need the IAU to "make" Pluto a planet. Just four percent of the IAU voted on the controversial demotion, and most are not planetary scientists but other types of astronomers. Their decision was immediately rejected in a formal petition signed by hundreds of planetary scientists led by New Horizons Principal Investigator Alan Stern. Ironically, Stern is the person who first coined the term "dwarf planet," but he intended it to refer to a third class of planets in addition to terrestrials and jovians, not to non-planets. The four percent of the IAU misused his term. Both Pluto's status and the definition of planet remain matters of ongoing debate, with many planetary scientists ignoring the IAU decision and continuing to consider all dwarf planets as a subclass of planets.

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    1. A "dwarf planet" is a planet. A dwarf planet. How is the IAU's decision NOT considering dwarf planets a subclass of planets? Your argument makes no sense.

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    2. Also, it isn't really a planet, it's a kuiper asteroid. The way I see it, everyone only wants it to be a planet because humans have the hardest time letting go of tradition and the nostalgic feelings of "everything was better before." Growing up as a kid I always saw it as a large asteroid that got caught in orbit from the kuiper belt, then given the planet name.

      I mean Charon and Pluto orbit a common barycenter that Pluto is quite a bit off from making them almost look as if they revolve around each other. It's so tiny. It's revolution is so off whack, because it's an asteroid. Eris is an asteroid that deserves to be a planet before Pluto if Pluto gets to be one. On top of all of this, it didn't even form from dust alongside the sun the same way like the 8 planets did; It barely formed at all.

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    3. We have a hard time letting go because PLUTO WAS A PART OF OUR FAMILY!!! You don't just let a brother go.
      and are you serious? Eris?? No, Pluto is next in line for being promoted back to planetary status, please move Eris to the back of line.

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    4. I think Pluto was formed from the original dust cloud that formed our solar system, and through angular momentum gravity and centrifugal force became a spherical object known as a planet no different than Neptune Uranus or Jupiter for that matter

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  6. Thank goodness. Otherwise learning: My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pickles makes no sense! :-)

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    1. served us nothing... but also this is a copy of an april fools article
      https://futurism.com/pluto-reclassified-as-a-major-planet/

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    2. "My very excellent Mother just served us noodles" works well w/o Pluto

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  7. You have also underestimated the Public's attachment to Uranus-Stop Pronouncing it wrong

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    1. your an anus

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    2. "We stopped calling it that years ago. We got tired of all the jokes. Now we call it Urectum." -Professor Farnsworth

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  8. Its Really Pleasure to Hear Pluto is a Planet once again. thank you Gentlemen's. As you said am a biggest fan of pluto

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    1. It's not true. Whoever wrote this is a sick person. I know your pain, I too was overjoyed until a few moments later when I realized it was a cruel cruel joke. I am brokenhearted. Pluto will always be a planet to me. I am really happy to see another pluto fan

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  9. Few Said Pluto Is asteroid and Few more said Pluto is Commats whether we should accept this Science Facts

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    1. Pluto is not an asteroid or comet. Asteroids and comets are have irregular shapes while Pluto is rounded by its own gravity.

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    2. that is true, Pluto was formed by gravity but also by the accretion process which generates large amounts of heat and renders the sphere Molten then through the spinning action of angular momentum and gravity forms it into its sphere where it slowly cools. Pluto is round we're spherical as you said, therefore it is a planet, not an asteroid or Comet or other body that had just happened into the solar system and got caught up in the gravity of the solar system itself, namely the Sun. So in a word if it's spherical it's a planet no matter how small or how far away from its Sun thank you

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  10. This process is driven by Goofy. Moral: never steal a dog's biscuit.

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  11. I'm confused. Is this site supposed to be satire or what?

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  12. I'm honestly really disgusted about this. Hasn't Pluto been through enough? Why do people feel the need to poke fun at it? We already abandoned it at the edge of our solar system with barely a goodbye. We've hurt it enough. This has to stop. Pluto IS a planet, the very very small amount of people who voted on it were hateful ignorant people who just want to watch the world burn and break millions of hearts. It's sad, really. Whoever wrote this is just counted among those people.
    If Pluto just hadn't been placed in the Kuiper belt then it would be planet, it would meet all the rules. In a world where we are not allowed to discriminate, we have done so beyond repair to our fellow planet, Pluto. A planet should not be judged on its location, no, it should be judged on the quality of it's heart. Pluto will always be a planet to me. And I am not alone, we will defend Pluto to our dying breaths, and we will not stop fighting for him to be welcomed back into our family.
    I have a dream, a dream of a universe. A universe with nine planets.

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  13. Lies lies all lies. Pluto is STILL not a planet. Check with Snopes if you are uncertain.

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    1. James Bond I presume, I would check on the making of solar systems which starts out with a dust cloud and then through angular momentum it starts spinning this dust accretes in two bodies the largest being the sun smaller ones being planets and moons. The fact that Pluto is spherical just like Uranus and Neptune proves it's a planet and from the Kuiper belt

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    2. Not from the Kuiper belt rather, that was a typo

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  18. Pluto was always the 9th planet in the solar system. Why, did it disappear for awhile?

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    1. It never disappeared. It was reclassified as a dwarf planet.

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  19. If you want to call it a planet, call it a planet.
    You're welcome.

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  20. If the definition of a planet must include it having cleared it's orbit of debris why does Earth have a group of asteroids and were still a planet?

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  21. Humans are so full of themselves! Do we really believe that the names we give and the descriptions we use matter at all to any of the celestial bodies? Do you really think the planet/non planet Pluto cares what we think?

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  22. This comes at a time when so many people are denying the value of scientific findings; most notably, regarding global warming. To change the classification of Pluto based on popular demand in unscientific. Furthermore, there's nothing to gain by doing so; no one's job is going to depend on making that segment of the public happy. Rely on scientific standards and pay no attention to whom it displeases.

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  23. https://www.snopes.com/pluto-officially-reclassified-planet/

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